What the Frick is Wrong with Positivity?

Asking For a Friend

Maybe you’ve noticed???

There’s been quite the noise around positivity and how it’s problematic on the internet lately.

The more it pops up, the more I feel the need to clarify a few things.  

Simply put..... 

YES.  Toxic positivity is absolutely problematic.

In fact, when someone responds to your hardship with blanketed positivity, completely passing over your feelings, it leaves you feeling, well, unvalidated.

You may feel unheard, disrespected, inferior, shameful, or a slew of other bad feelies that we don’t want to be feeling.

Especially in a time when we are already struggling.

In a case such as this, yes, I agree.   

This type of positivity is toxic, damaging and just all-around crappy.

However!  I do not agree that positivity and negative emotions cannot peacefully coexist. 

(Actually, they often complement each other beautifully!)

Processing your emotions, feeling each emotion, giving space to and respecting all your emotions is a big part of healing.

Hope, gratitude and optimism are as well.

It is completely possible, and common, to feel devastated and grateful at the same time.

To feel hurt and optimistic at the same time.

Duality is part of the human experience, and both sides have great benefits. 

Not to mention, hope, positive thinking and trust are often essential to moving forward.

They motivate you to actually go out there and create the changes you want in life.

Pretty important stuff. 

So, while I do not recommend you be a Little Miss Shove-Sunshine-Down-Everyone’s-Throat kind of a person, 

I do encourage you to practice positivity in your own life when the right time occurs.

I do encourage feeling all of the feelies to completion, and following it up with some gratitude and, dare I say it, positive thinking.

When dealing with another's emotions,

Respect them, listen, validate and ask what the person is needing.

Try it out and let me know how it goes.

Positively sending love and light,

~Adriana