While dropping my kiddos off at school today I drove by a couple taking a walk. Just a leisurely walk in the neighborhood.
And guess what???
I instantly felt envious.
Not a feeling that I particularly enjoy.
I’ve been under the weather for almost two months now, and it has been keeping me from doing, well, practically anything other than laying on the couch.
No biking, no hiking, no leisurely walks, no socializing, barely working…
You know, all the things I normally LOVE doing.
And let me tell you,
It’s SOOOOO freaking hard!
It’s depressing, frustrating, infuriating, and every emotion in between.
So it’s super easy to see others live their lives and feel envious.
Like, why am I the one that’s suffering?
(insert total pity party)
But! Deep down, like really deep down, I know that there is a reason why.
There is a reason that I’m the one “suffering”.
I truly and genuinely know that all of these difficult experiences have opportunities hidden within them (umm, hello cancer).
Opportunities to grow, to learn, and most importantly,
To expand.
And I like that.
Actually, I freaking LOVE that.
Expansion is my jam.
So! As I saw that couple walking,
And as I felt the crappy feeling of envy rise up into my chest,
I took some deep breaths, and remembered that not only is my current situation an opportunity for further expansion,
But I also have a shit ton of things to be grateful for.
I’m here,
I’m loved,
I’m alive.
I mean, that’s all pretty cool, right?
I thought so too.
Hang in there my love,
And biggest of big hugs to you.
Love and Light,
~Adriana