You Are Not Alone
I hope this email finds all of you well and enjoying the new year so far! Lately, I've been much more absent on my blog than I wish to be, but I'm working on being here more often, so stay posted! There will be many good tips coming your way. Beginning with today. So read on my dear friends!
I want to write a little bit about how often we feel we are alone, when in fact, we are actually not alone. After having a powerful conversation with a client this morning, I decided that this is such an important topic that it needed to be yelled from the rooftops (or sent to your inbox). Either way, please hear me out.
It is no secret that we often feel alone. In fact, feeling alone, isolated or invisible is often the reason that tragedy strikes (you all know what I'm talking about, right? Shootings, suicide, depression spirals, anger outbursts and so on), but it is also one of the main reasons that people stop reaching out to others. Loneliness causes many people to retract further away from people and draw deeper in to the dark recesses of isolation. This may sound extreme for some of us, for others it may hit the nail on the head, or maybe it feels like a distant memory of a time in our life when we felt alone and helpless. In any (and ALL) of those situations, I want to remind you all, that you are, in fact, not alone. Truly, and honestly, you are not alone. Just because we feel alone does not mean that we actually are alone. Easy for me to say with a husband, kids and a community, right? You think it's that easy? Think again.
The truth of the matter is when we are on the "inside" of a problem, it feels nearly impossible to see that there are other people out there who can relate or people that we can connect with . It is "easy" to see help and available support when we are on the outside of the situation. For example, have you ever felt completely alone in a marriage? A relationship? What about when you were (or still are!) undergoing a massive change in life? Maybe your husband or wife is still physically "there", but you feel so distant and like no one understand what you are going through? I'm guessing that a lot of you have felt this at some point of another in your life. I know I have. The point is when we are in it, we believe that there is no one out there who feels what we feel, no one that cares enough to really hear and understand us. And that's just plan bullshit.
Guys, I talk to a lot of people in my practice every week - from all different walks of life. I also talk and listen to a million other people outside of my business (I've been the person who people tell their life stories to in the grocery line since I was a kid). And let me tell you this: I can almost guarantee that there is at least a group of people who can relate to what you are going through. There is at least a group of people out there who can hear you, support you and help you out just by sharing the fact that they have been through something similar; or that they have felt something similar. But these people are not going to be found by staying in your isolation bubble; you are going to have to go out there and do some looking. And I get it! It's hard to get started, but it's not impossible. And yes, I understand that no matter how much I tell you that there are others out there like you, you may not believe me enough to get up and look! It may take a series of events, combined with hearing this in many different avenues and from many different people before you say to yourself, "Oh my god. I'm really not alone. Other people feel this way and other people struggle with this too!" But let me tell you, once you understand and believe that, your problems instantly become smaller and more manageable simply because you no longer feel like a one-show freak. You no longer feel like it is just you battling the world and all of its impossibilities.
So what are my tips for you today? Get out there - and talk to people. Be vulnerable. Share your thoughts and your struggles and be receptive when people share their thoughts and struggles with you. Tell your amazingly intelligent yet stubborn brain that you are not alone, and that chances are pretty damn good that there are others out there who feel that same way that you do. And if this isn't enough to make you really truly feel that way, then hopefully I have served as yet another reminder of this that can help bring you get one step closer to believing it.
With much love and much light,